MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

• If Laura, Kate  and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and   Sarah.
• If Mike, Dave and  John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla  and Four-eyes.  

EATING OUT

• When the bill  arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for  $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually  admit they want change back.
• When the girls  get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.  

MONEY

• A man will pay $2  for a $1 item he needs.
• A woman will pay  $1 for a $2 item that she  doesn't need but it's on sale.  

BATHROOMS

• A man has six  items in his bathroom:  toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor,  a bar of soap, and a  towel .
• The average  number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.  A man would not  be able to identify more than 20 of these  items.  

ARGUMENTS

• A woman has the  last word in  any argument.
• Anything a man  says after that is the beginning of a new argument.  

FUTURE

• A woman worries  about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never  worries about the future until he gets a wife.  

SUCCESS

• A successful man  is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful  woman is one who can find such a man.  

MARRIAGE

• A woman marries a  man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a  woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.  

DRESSING UP

• A woman will  dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone,  read a  book, and get the mail.
• A man will dress  up for weddings and  funerals.  

NATURAL

• Men wake up as  good-looking as they went to bed.
• Women somehow  deteriorate during the night.  

OFFSPRING

• Ah, children.   A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about   dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret  fears and hopes and dreams.
• A man is vaguely  aware of some short people living in the house.  

THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

SO, send this to the women who have a sense  of humor and who can handle it ... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.

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